Spanking can be a great way to experiment in the bedroom, build a stronger relationship with your partner and even bring some of your favorite novels to life. But how do you go from reading about spanking to actually implementing it into your life?
There are a few things you should know before giving your partner the hand (or asking for it).
Spanking definitely has the potential to hurt, so it's important that you approach it safely and with someone you trust. This isn't something you want to dive into with some don't know very well. So before you get started, talk to your partner and let them know this is something that you would like to try. Many men have been taught that they should never hit a woman, so it may take some talking through to get them on board.
After you've gotten your partner on board, you will need to set up a safe word. A safe word will ensure that you are both safe and not getting pushed beyond your comfort level. Pick a word that is easy to remember and yell out so that it can be said when either of you are getting to a point where you can't take anymore.
Now the actual spanking…
It's important to not just dive in hand first when you're spanking someone or getting spanked. You need to get in the right mindset and become aroused, as arousal can actually turn the pain derived from spanking into pleasure. So be sure to include some foreplay into your playtime prior to getting your spank on.
When you're feeling good and ready, the spanker should gently place one hand on the spankee's gentials and the other on their butt cheek. As they wind up to lay down a spank, they will need to cup their hand slightly and spank upward versus a downward spank. They also have to be sure to aim directly for the butt cheeks. Aiming too low or high can put you in dangerous territory that can lead to the spankee getting hurt.
Once they have laid down a spank, they should use their one hand to gently rub the area and the other to stimulate the spankee's genitals. This will help the brain to start associating spanking with pleasure.
When the spanker is ready to go again, it is important that they shift their spank a little so that they aren't constantly striking the same area.
Beginner spankers should stick to using their hand because this will help them understand how much force they are inflicting as well as learn how to aim correctly. If you've gotten some solid hand time in, there are some toys you can graduate to.
Sex stores like Adam & Eve carry several different options for those of you feeling extra adventurous. You can try a paddle, crop or whip. A paddle is going to consist of a flat board with a handle. These are good for spreading the spank out across the buttocks. A whip is going to consist of a handle with strands of fabric on the end that will be used to lash your partner. This will be much more painful than the paddle. And then there's the crop. Crops are typically long rods with a piece of fabric attached on the end. This one will be equally as painful as the whip route and can be used to target very specific areas. In all cases, be sure to slowly build up to the pain. Do not immediately opt for full force as these will be very different from using your hand.