I've always known that trust is essential to submission. That was kind of a given. But having read the recent Round Table Discussions, I really thought about that trust for the first time.
There was one comment in particular that Gemini made about the gift of Dominance. As a sub, I am completely and selfishly focused on myself and this was interesting to read. In my post, I spoke about struggling with submission – wanting to give it but being unable to. After reading what Gemini wrote, something clicked for me. When giving the gift of submission, you must trust that the gift of Dominance will be given in return. It's like you have to trust that the one you are giving your submission to can take it, can accept it and give you back what you need – his Dominance.
In Aching To Submit, the blurb reads that Sophie hadn't told her husband of her kink out of fear of rejection. Yes, that's one side of things, but there's also the other side. Maybe she wasn't sure or didn't trust that he could take it and give her back what she needed – his Dominance. The following snippet is a punishment scene, one of the few Sophie has received so far. It's at the end of this piece that she realizes that her trust was not misplaced – that Michael is more than capable of caring for her submission and offering her, in turn, the gift of his Dominance.
* * * *
“Hold out your hands,” he said.
“You don’t have to bind…” she began.
“How many additional strokes do you think you deserve for speaking when you did not have permission to speak?”
She stared at him. “I’m sorry, Sir,” she said quickly. “I just…”
“Ten more, then. Another word and we’ll make it twenty on top of what you’re already going to get.”
She stared at him, her mouth open, but luckily too smart to keep talking.
“Hold your hands out,” he said.
She extended them to him and he bound them in front of her before sitting down on the chair. “Lay yourself across my lap,” he said.
Sophie took a step to his side and held on to his thigh as she leaned forward, then put her hands to the floor. Once she was situated, he trapped both her legs between his and pulled her tight to him. She then felt the weight of the belt as he laid it over her low back.
“I like you like this,” he said, his hand circling her buttocks, then pressing on the base of the plug before dipping down into her pussy. “You’re wet, Soph, even for your punishment you’re wet. But pain before pleasure and this is going to hurt. Are you ready?”
“I don’t know, Sir,” she said, her voice wavering.
He chuckled and slapped her ass once, then caressed softly before repeating the motion on the other cheek. The caress was just momentary and only heightened her anxiety as she knew the strike that followed would be sharp and quick.
“Ow,” she said, already squirming.
“Oh, honey,” he said and she could hear the smile in his voice, “this is nothing compared to what’s coming.”
He slapped harder and she struggled against each one, but with her hands bound as they were and her legs trapped between his, it was useless. When he picked up the belt, however, she shoved her full weight against him, trying to get free, panic overriding everything else.
Michael pulled her to him, holding her tight by her waist. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay, Soph. It’s me. You can take this; you’ll feel better for it.”
“Easy for you to say,” she cried.
“Do you want to stop?” he asked, surprising her.
She turned her head to meet his eyes. “No.”
Her eyes, which had been dry until then, suddenly filled with tears that overflowed onto the carpet beneath her. “I don’t want you to stop. I’m just scared. I think I made a mistake. I think I should have chosen a different belt,” she cried.
He laughed out loud, but it wasn’t cruel. In fact, as he did it, he hugged her to him, rubbing her back. “Baby,” he began, “you think I’d have let you get away with that?” he asked. He was massaging her low back.
That was the moment she understood that he wouldn’t have let her off the hook.
Goose bumps covered the flesh over her entire body as this realization settled upon her. She exhaled and closed her eyes, relishing the release, the knowledge that she was safe here in his arms and that she could lean on him, that he would carry her. That he could carry her.